


Iterum

by XaraRudolf90



Series: Esoteric Life [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Comedy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, M/M, Regret, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XaraRudolf90/pseuds/XaraRudolf90
Summary: Iterum (adverb): Again, Anew.Sometimes, even after a second chance, people are prone to repeat their past mistake. Ungrateful shit that they are. However, for some, who realised how grave the mistakes they made--how much they had sinned--they would never ask as much as a forgiveness. Undeserved of it they know. That is why one Levi Ackerman felt that he was cursed for given a second chance in life and that he promised to not take it for granted and to fix what must be fixed in order to salvage them all.Or where one Levi Ackerman is reborn in the past and tried to alternate the future.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Series: Esoteric Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096607
Kudos: 9





	Iterum

**Author's Note:**

> A playlist to get you by for this fic:  
> 1\. The Black Ghost - Fullmoon  
> 2\. Collective Soul - Tremble for my beloved  
> 3\. Paramour - I Caught Myself  
> 4\. Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire  
> 5\. Robert Pattinson - Never Think  
> 6\. Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird American Mouth

**_Playing: Robbert Pattinson - Never Think_ **

Blueish-grey eyes stared blankly at diamond like droplets pouring down the lush covered earth. Emitting an amalgam of fresh trimmed grass and wet soil -- the epitome of rain, which makes one relaxed yet nostalgic at the same time. The man take a sip of his warm ground ivy tea, brows furrowed and lip tugged down. If it was anyone else, they would most likely looked older but not him. Wrinkles seemed to shied away from him, afraid of his ever present glare perhaps. Or maybe, the aged effect wouldn't look good for him, who knows, for he hadn't had the chance to grow that old.

That was it, wasn't it? His chance to live to his old days were ripped from his clutches by none other than he himself. What an idiot.

His orbs shifted to gaze at his normal state right hand, fingers gripping the edge of the tea cup. He huffed. Even after so long of staying here, sometimes he could still feel the feeling that they were gone for good but at the same time he could control them too. That feeling, more often than he would have liked, caused him to be clumsy (as far fetched as it sound). And it frustrates him. Of course with time he got better at controlling it even though saldomly the muscle twitched on its own. 

_Why do you hold the cup like that?_

A shuddering breath left him at the voice echoing inside of his mind. His heart sunk at the same time his grip on the cup weakened. Oh, how much he missed _him._ The eagerness, the determination, the urge to protect, and the ambition for freedom... Humans always take things for granted and he was (unfortunately) one of them. 

Had he known that everything he owns, everyone he knew would be gone just because of a trivial matter such as trust... he'd be with them now. Enjoying their freedom and living their live to the fullest.

His eyes stung with contained tears.

He knew it wasn't just his fault. He knew that, _understood_ that everything that happened, happened because a lot of party part took them. And he was one of those party but he also _knew_ if he had only told the others to just trust _him_ the others would have listened -- they would have obeyed -- and they all would be... alive.

His words could have safe them from doom and yet...

A bead flowed down his cheek. He didn't bother sweeping it. For all the things happened in the past, he wouldn't repeat some of them. Including pretending to be strong when you were not. He was _his_ role model, that much he noticed. The sparkling eyes, the awed expression, the will to pleased him. Even if _he_ wasn't as obvious as Oluo in _his_ hero worship towards him, it was noticeable. Perhaps, one of the reason the kid decided to plan genocide in the first place and didn't tell anyone about it was because _he_ was afraid to show how scared _he_ was. 

He didn't know if it was true or not but he guessed even if it wasn't, he believed that his stay strong persona influenced a tiny bit of that decision.

He wondered what would have happened if he showed his weak moment to the kid. What would have happened if he showed how much he appreciated the kid's nonstop effort -- to keep pushing and pushing for the shake of humanity -- he gasped. Ever since he arrived here he always tried to avoid mulling his mind over this issue because he was so focused to right the wrong decision he made in the past. He didn't realised, until now, that what made the brat feel so strong in protecting _his_ friends, _his_ family, _humanity_ were them... 

The people the brat always tried to protect.

Even before day one in officially becoming a soldier, people had put the weight of the entire wall population to a fifteen year old kid, whom five years prior watched the horror of his own mother being eaten by the first wife of his father. They said they understood _him_ but really how could they? They weren't in his shoes at the same age, they didn't see the memories of other people, didn't feel the same amount of presure. Sure, perhaps the amount of tragicity and horror all of them witnessed were similar but it was still far of what the brat's been through.

Not to mention, they keep reminding _him_ of how big his responsible was. Every single second of it. Seriously, he didn't blame the brat to committed genocide at all because they commited murder to the kid. Evey single day.

_Why are you guys here? Please, leave me, I'm a monster!_

The scene of that day under the Reiss' church played in front of him. Blood and despair covered the teenager's face. So ready to end his life. To get rid of the world's madness. Their selfishness -- his selfishness -- made the teen thought of himself as a monster. Do things what they thought as monstrous, when in fact, _he_ was just trying to save them. To live. Even then, when they turned their back towards _his_ effort in protecting them, _he_ gave them the choice to do what they believed.

The boy gave them the freedom they always wanted.

And like common humans...

They took it for granted.

_Let me die._

**Author's Note:**

> Alright folks, thank you so much for giving this story a chance and finished reading it! I'm here to remind you if you haven't noticed yet that I'm not a native speaker and don't have a beta reader too, so pardon the grammar mistakes please. Also, I have another fic beside this that still ongoing and I'm quite busy with school, other activities and my own life, thus please understand that I can't update regularly. I'm sorry for that but I'm only human after all hehehe.
> 
> Again thank you for your time reading this! Kudos and comments are very appreaciated <3
> 
> Thank you, Love you!
> 
> (and yes, all the playlist from Twilight soundtrack).


End file.
